6/3/07
I've been having a rough time. nothing seems to be going right for me. it seems like even the simple things
are getting hard to do. I can't go through a week without something major happening, which sets me
back even more. every time I get one problem worked out, I have 3 more that replace it. my car keeps
breaking down, and I only bought it in January. financially I can never get ahead because I'm always
fixing my car. relationship wise, I can't seem to meet someone that I like. I meet cool people, but they're
usually not into me or there's other problems that I can't get into. I sometimes think that I am just looking
for too much, but I'm not just looking to hook up with anyone....I want to meet someone special. I go to
clubs like QXTs hoping to meet someone special that I have a lot in common with...but in reality, everyone
there are all superficial and not going to be interested in me. everyone keeps telling me that I'm not going
to meet someone nice there, but I guess I was hoping to meet someone who liked the same music as me,
and that's where we all go......I am really frustrated about the whole dating thing....I'm not getting younger,
and its been a few months since I've dated anyone.....and I really don't want to date just anyone....I want
to spend time with someone special......I dunno, I guess I'm asking too much.....my last real relationship was
6 years long. I broke up with her because I found out she was cheating on me......actually, scratch that,
I broke up with her after I caught her cheating on me again....I forgave her the first time....which was a
mistake....once a cheater, always a cheater. If you forgive them once, they find it easier to do it again.
So perhaps I'm really jaded, but I was completely faithful and honest.....I guess maybe I should learn my
lesson from getting screwed over.....I'm really getting bored with all of this....I'm not meeting anyone new,
I'm not doing anything different.....I think I need a change of pace.....

4/3/07

I have been going through a rough time lately. Things just don't seem to be going right...its really frustrating.
I've found many things that use to be important to me are now not so important....I sometimes feel like I'm
losing my identity. I've been a vegetarian since I was12, but lately I've felt so hollow that I sometimes think
what's the point....I have no form of religion, but vegetarianism has been something that identified me and
something I cared so much for....I need something to believe in and I love animals so much.....its hard,
the last girl I dated tried so hard to get me to eat meat....every meal...."oh, you don't know what you're missing"
and "vegetarians are losers" .....are we?  I've never dated a vegetarian girl, so I've had to deal with the aversion
and conflict whenever it came to eating and relationships......it really sucks......I wish I could find a nice
veggie girl out there, but I've only even known 4 vegetarian girls in my life and I never dated any of them.
When I dated Patty, at least she didn't give me a hard time about being a veg. She actually use to eat
soy products with me and even liked going to Veggie Heaven with me. I think that was one of the main
reasons we stayed together for 6 years.....at least we didn't fight about that.